My mind wanders from thought to thought. Mental parkour that balances on one idea long enough to get to the next without lingering long enough to establish a true connection.
What is it my brain needs? It’s the age-old ponderance of everyone who has thought for long at all. What is immediately clear is I am wholly non-unique in my struggles. Men have lived and died before me and have wondered and searched all the same. Only the externalities are different. I have modern life. They had ancient life, although it was clearly modern at the time.
My truth, right now, is I’ve never truly been happier with all aspects of my life. My work, my loves, my hobbies, my life. They are all exceeding any sort of expectations I would dare to have. Even so, I don’t anticipate any inevitable fall. Naiveté hasn’t gripped me so hard as to make me think things continue like this until I die. But I have prepared myself for the waves of life. Valleys follow peaks. So it goes.
I wrote this in April when Lindsay and I were camping. The thoughts I had then are much the same now. My monkey-brain still jumps from idea to idea, but I am getting better at training it. I am still happier than ever with my life. Absent from my view is any sort of anticipation that it’s all going to come falling apart. True to my Stoic beliefs, I’m prepared to handle whatever may come my way, but I’m not letting any potential unknown ruin my outlook. Life, on average, is great. I’ve worked hard (and been very lucky) to make it great. I will continue to work hard as well as accept any luck that happens to come my way. Life goes on, up, down, and around. So it goes.